I-G-G-Y
by Luigified531
Summary: Just like any other normal day, England has work that desperately needs to be done. But really, what work can actually get done with America around? At least the day got a little more interesting...


_**I-G-G-Y**_

* * *

Time's demise was imminent; the end of all life was nigh. All because… all because… the reason why…

"Alfred. Fucking. Jones. I swear to Christ, if you do not shut the hell up right now, I will personally escort you to your grave," England growled at the presence across from him. "Furthermore," he continued, this time in a clipped voice, "why are you even here? Shouldn't you be at home, watching _Pixels_ , _Inside Out_ , or –God forbid– that unholy abuse of entertainment _Jurassic World_?"

America slowly leaned his chair back and placed his feet on the table, earning England's glare for the umpteenth time this day. He slowly, thoughtfully, sipped his soda, grinning as England's infamous glare intensified. Finally, he set the soda down, as a mischievous sparkle lit up his eyes and a playful smirk crossed his face.

"Don't be upsetti, eat some spaghetti!" America started, grinning. As England groaned about the "mutilation of the language that I worked so hard to create," America couldn't stop himself from bursting out in an intense fit of laughter.

England, at first, looked over with a small amount of annoyance and disdain. He had been attempting to work on… He forgot, but it was important, because he was working on it. Plus, there were questions to be asked, such as: "Why are you here, again?" "What do you even do in your spare time?" and "Aren't you the superpower; how do you even have any spare time?" Perhaps, the most important question was none of the above, but rather, "Does my new alarm system not work?"

Even so, England couldn't help but to feel the tug of a small smile on the corners of his mouth. America's laughter was contagious, and the American himself had an uplifting spirit. There was a reason the fellow blond was England's best friend and trusted confidant. Soon, he started to burst into a fit of giggles, too; such was life when America was your best friend.

Although he may not always act like it, America truly was deeply important to him, and so were France –begrudgingly admitted to even himself– and Candyland? Canadia? Canada! France and America's twin brother Canada were also very important in his life, just not to the extent of the American. Their "family," dysfunctional as it was, was a loving and caring support group among fellow nations.

After a few more minutes of laughter, England looked at America, gently smiled, and then proceeded to ask the wham question. It… was a decision that he quickly came to regret.

"America, I understand that you must be 'bored' or what have you, but your stubborn wankishness is really getting in the way of my work. Why are you really here?" As England realized how off-putting he had sounded, he gently glanced up, a light blush faintly dusting his cheeks. Of course, it's not like America noticed any of it anyway, because he was busy rambling on about something or other. Really, England had learned to just stop pay-

"–Iggy-Iggs, you should really, like, not be so uptight all the time! I just came to spend some time with my second bestest friend in the world!"

 _Second best?_ England pondered this in his mind for a moment, blocking America's babble for the time being. _Who could be his best friend; more than even I? Must be Japan… He and America have always been close, and I just can't supplant their unique-_

"–I mean, no offense, dude, but Tony and I are just so close! He can be a real pain in the butt sometimes, and it really makes me kinda upset that you guys can't seem to get along, because you both mean a lot to me, and it's just kind awko taco, you know?"

 _TONY. Should've known! The bloody twat, always calling me a "limey" and other insulting names... I should show him the full power of the British Empire. HE SHALL FEAR MY WRATH, or at least not bother me anymore. Really, the choice is up to him._ England looked up to see America still rambling, and muttered a polite agreement, and went back to his thoughts.

 _No one respects me anymore. What did I ever do to them!? I'm like the woobie of the world! I should probably not waddle in self-pity, but ah well._ England glanced up again, to check and see if America had exhausted himself yet. Like that would ever happen.

But, to his horror, America had a creep-tastic smile on his face, and was mere inches away from England. England got the feeling that he had just agreed to something he probably would come to regret.

"So I _can_ stay the night? And you're not gonna do your silly work and pretend like you're listening to me, when you're really not? Yay! I have so much to talk to you about!"

"…Do you have an off-switch?"

"No."

"Would you like me to install one?"

"Nope."

"Would you like Flying Mint Bunny to kindly escort you out?"

"Pfft, silly England, those don't exist~!"

"…And you're not going to leave?"

"Nada."

"And you're not going to use any more gratuitous Spanish?"

"Nah, I won't."

"As much as it pains me to allow it, I suppose you can allow yourself the pleasure of my company." England feigned annoyance, but a soft smile was starting to show on his face as he put away his things. With America around, one could never exactly get ahead in their work… Unless their name was Germany, and even then it was difficult.

"Thanks Iggy-Iggs, I knew I could count on you!"

"Although, I have two questions for you. One, where did you get that absurd nickname from? Two, can you not call me that?"

"One, a singer. Two, nope! Iggy-Iggs is the best!" America was obviously taking joy from England's moderate displeasure at the nickname.

"Oh God, not another of your Miley Cyruses or Justin Biebers," England threw out disdainfully. "Those two leave the most horrifying taste in my mouth. The just don't understand the proper-"

"Bieber is Canadian," America deadpanned. "And no, she's not mine! She's Australia's! She be taking up the pop charts by storms, yo."

"Please. Do not ever speak like that again. And alright, I'll call Australia up to see what all of the hubbub is about. I've come to terms with the fact that I shall regret my decision, but I will go forth with it anyway. I will even put it on speaker, just to please you. Considering I think that your main purpose in life is to be agitating, and you wouldn't shut up if I didn't I took the initiative. You're very welcome, America."

Meanwhile, America stood there, smiling, apparently oblivious to England's verbal lashing. He smiled even more a the phone began to ring. And it rang again. And again. And yet again. _Really, how long do phones ring in Australia? Like, is it over yet? Nope, still ringing. It's the 8_ _th_ _time. Nobody should have a ringtone this long._

 ***4 Minutes Later***

"America. This phone takes as long to shut up as you do. Which is sad."

Finally, as England's patience started to reach a breaking point, the phone was answered.

"Who who who who dat who dat who dat?" A fun-loving Australian voice flowed through the cellphone speaker.

"Who the hell do you think, wanker? Was caller identification not shipped to your country, or am I missing-"

England glared as America cut him off. "It's I-G-G-Y."

Australia continued, thrashing England's attempt at cutting the two off. "Who do dat do dat do dat?"

"I-G-G-Y."

England looked like he was about to commit a crime that'd make even the most hardened criminal blush. Yet, America and Australia were undeterred.

"OH-OH-OHOHOHOHO." Australia and America finished together, cracking up. America was literally rolling on the floor laughing when Australia finally hung up the phone. America looked up at England, with a huge grin, tears of mirth still falling.

And that was when England knew it was going to be a loooong day.

* * *

 _ **A/N**_

 _ **Hey guys! Uhhhh, long time, no see? *Gets shot and dies* *Doubts any of you guys remember him anyway* *Is woobie, destroyer of worlds***_

 _ **Okay, I'm done with jokes at my own expense. I actually got this idea the other day, when I was thinking of how much England must hate Iggy Azalea. And thus, this was born. I think it turned out pretty well, in all honesty. I tried to create a brotherly relationship that I think America and England share; Best friends are my favorite things to write ever, and I don't know why. *Gets shot for hyperbolizing***_

 _ **ANYWAY, SUPER BIG SHOUT OUT TO MADZ (aka Fezzes64), my friend and beta! Check out her story**_ _ **The Messenger**_ _ **, it's way different from this, but I think you guys will like it! I know I do. ^^**_

 _ **Remember to review, please! I give out the cookies XD**_


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